Articles
Clinical writing on compulsive sexual behaviour.
Monthly to fortnightly writing from Dr Michael Yates on what we see in practice, what the research shows, and what men and the people who care about them often find useful to know.
Clinical essays by Dr Michael Yates
How compulsive sexual behaviour develops in men
Early reward, the off switch, escalation, and why the pattern keeps returning.
Threat, drive and soothing in compulsive sexual behaviour
The three systems behind compulsive sexual behaviour, and why compassion is strength.
Shame and self-criticism in compulsive sexual behaviour
Shame as precursor and consequence, secrecy, and the self-critical voice.
How loneliness drives compulsive sexual behaviour
What men are really seeking, and why intimacy can be the hardest place.
How it shows up: pornography, apps, sex work, and drugs and sex
Porn, apps, sex work, drugs and sex, escalation and technology.
What actually helps: values, sober sex and why the group matters
Values, preferences, boundaries, sober sex, and why the group matters.
Is sex addiction real? What it actually is, and isn't
Is sex addiction a real diagnosis? Dr Michael Yates on why the addiction label captures something real, why it doesn't quite fit, and what a different approach makes possible.
Loneliness in long-term relationships
Some of the loneliest men I work with are in long-term relationships. The loneliness is not about being alone, it's about what cannot be…
Loneliness: one of the biggest drivers we see
In my clinical work, loneliness is one of the biggest drivers of compulsive sexual behaviour I encounter.
Reconnecting with your body after compulsive use
How do you reconnect with your body and arousal after compulsive sexual behaviour or chemsex? Dr Michael Yates explains the clinical proc…
Sex with a partner after disclosure
How couples rebuild a sexual relationship after one partner has disclosed compulsive sexual behaviour: what helps, what doesn't, and what…
The 2 AM app loop: why you can't stop checking
The late-night app scroll that never quite leads to a meeting: Dr Michael Yates explains what compulsive hookup app use is actually doing…
The five-year arc of sober sex
What the long-term recovery picture looks like for men who've come out of chemsex or compulsive sexual behaviour: the five-year arc of so…
The shame cycle: why trying to stop makes it worse
Shame drives compulsive sexual behaviour and is also produced by it. Understanding the shame loop, and how it differs across gay, straigh…
The tipping point: when sex starts to feel out of control
How sex moves from pleasurable and liberating to out of control. Dr Michael Yates on the tipping scale and the escalation arc in compulsive sexual behaviour.
The inner critic in compulsive sexual behaviour
The harsh internal voice after a compulsive sexual episode keeps the cycle going. A compassionate approach offers a different response.
What sober sex actually means
Sober sex is not abstinence. Dr Michael Yates explains the clinical definition (resetting your relationship with behaviour) and why value…
When life stress triggers compulsive sexual behaviour
Why life stress, work, money, health, relationships, pushes some men toward compulsive sexual behaviour, and what to do about the trigger pattern. Dr Michael Yates.
The midlife pattern: when older men struggle with sexual control
Why men in their forties, fifties and sixties often present with new or escalating compulsive sexual behaviour, and what is actually driving the pattern. Dr Michael Yates.
Why group therapy works for men like you
Group therapy does something for lonely men that one-to-one therapy cannot. The moment of realising you are not the only one is not a sid…
Why being close to someone can feel scary
Why being close to someone, especially in sex, can feel more dangerous than escape. The threat response and what it means for compulsive…
Why men struggle to talk to each other
Most of the men I work with have no one they can speak to honestly about what is happening inside them. This piece is about why that is,…
Sex and emotion: the missing education
Most of us were never taught how sex and emotion connect. Why that matters now if your sexual behaviour feels out of control
Why apps make loneliness worse, not better
Men go to the apps for connection and come away lonelier than before. Here is the mechanism, and why understanding it matters for the me…
Why we pull away from the partners we love
Why the partner we most want closeness with can be the one we most retreat from in sex. The intimacy paradox in compulsive sexual behaviour
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